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I need some eternal sunshine of the spotless mind treatment.

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Does crying into your pillow help keep your face moisturized through the night?

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One day I will look back at these sad days and think, “Things sure were easier when I was young.”

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Hoping for a good night’s sleep is like pretending your shit don’t stink.

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They say the best way to get out of a funk is to get your slut on.

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I’m ready to spend most of my days out of bed.

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I just had one of those moments where my brain finally told me my stomach was full but I kept going anyway.

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I am developing workers hands. Terrible.

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Sometimes utter crap gets into my netflix queue and those are the days I wish I could have a “return to sender” automated process.

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You give me fever, fever all through the night. Thanks, food poisoning!

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