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Not everyone is cut out for the task of being a stay-in-bed lady (SIBL) – it does require quite a bit of devotion mixed with sheer laziness. Currently there are three main factors contributing to my SIBL status:

  1. I’m unemployed.
  2. It’s winter. My place is cold and my bed is warm.
  3. I am a lady.

There are of course many reasons why I shouldn’t be a stay-in-bed lady:

  1. Bed sores
  2. Shame
  3. Muscle atrophy

At this point, the scales obviously tip towards being a stay-in-bed lady. Which means lucky you, you’ve got something to read and envy me about.


Posted in Brain Farts

3 comments to “To be or not to be a stay-in-bed lady”

  1. Jo

    Sounds like I qualify.

    I did decide to take a shower today (something to do) but I felt guilty for using the water with the drought and conservation efforts here in California. I’m sure that most environmentalists would prefer that I just stay in bed and not waste any energy, after all I really don’t have anywhere to go that requires me to be clean or smell fresh.

    Shouldn’t there also be an age qualifier for a “stay in bed lady”? I’m mean if you are young seems like you should at least be a “walking the street lady” or something.

  2. heather

    Jo – I would think ugliness would determine whether you’re a stay-in-bed lady or a walk-the-street lady. Not to say stay-in-bed ladies are ugly, but only some might have the ability to successfully turn into street walkers…

    RE: Showering…this makes it seem as if a lot of us are in the same boat:
    http://stuffunemployedpeoplelike.com/2009/02/10/12-not-showering-regularly-because-whats-the-point/

  3. Julian Edmonds

    Hi,

    How do you do it?

    I have lots of questions – like how do you evade the welfare police and not have to spend your days on workfare? – does staying in bed help you to save money and make ends meet? – what’s the minimum you have to get up and do to get through a day?

    all this from someone who doesn’t get to spend nearly enough time in bed.


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