Stay-in-Bed Lady

I wonder what high-powered execs do if they have a fear of public bathrooms. Do they hold it? Go in their office and hastily dispose of it?

I haven’t eaten Cocoa Puffs since I threw them up in a church sink and wonder whether it was the cereal, the migraine headache, or God.

Well I failed my one goal of the day yesterday, which was to buy a lotto ticket. At least there’s always next week with a higher jackpot.

It’s that time again. The lottery is pushing $100 million so I better get out of bed and put down a couple dollars for a few hours of hope.

Was it wrong to be tickled pink by Liz Lemon from 30 Rock objecting to friends having sex in her bed by declaring, “I eat in there!”

I’m pretty sure the purpose of Skinny Cow products is defeated when they’re so tasty you end up eating more than one serving and then you feel like it’s okay to top off dessert with potato chips because dessert already had reduced calories. If I could marry ice cream sandwiches I would. God, I miss [...]

I just woke up hungry after dreaming about making fried green tomatoes. I think that officially makes me a fatty.

Signs you are getting old, moldy and plain ol’ decrepit: You try to pop, lock, and drop but instead your body goes snap, crackle, and pop.

I’m counting down until the day after Easter so I can fulfill my dream of making a bed out of Peeps.

Jason Mraz attracts spammers to my blog which is an indication that I should stop writing about his ugly face and he should stop existing.