Stay-in-Bed Lady

I hope someday to be served Disaronno on the rocks by a suave bartender that knows exactly what kind of hot drinking experience I’m in for.

Somebody loves me or at least approves of my stay-in-bed lady lifestyle. I just received a breakfast in bed tray in the mail. Yay bedsores!

I overdid it yesterday. Made a big bowl of guacamole, forced myself to eat it all despite being incredibly full, then licked the bowl clean.

When I hear the slow sounds of Sarah McLachlan’s music coming on the TV I kind of want to die. Those poor ASPCA animals! And the bad song!

My eyes appear to have doubled in size (quite a feat if you know me) from the incessant rubbing due to the insane itching. Curse you pollen!

I’ve eaten everything except the grease my hungover stomach has been demanding from me all day. Even Mama Celeste pizza didn’t do the trick!

I forgot about my Degrassi: The Next Generation phase until Jimmy aka Aubrey Graham somehow resurfaced in celeb gossip for dating Rihanna.

Global warming is wreaking havoc on my allergies. In the past week I’ve had different parts of my face deciding to itch uncontrollably including the tip of my nose while I was eating at some hoity toity restaurant. Today my eye is dry, itchy, and bloodshot which is fantastic because I’m indoors now and have [...]

If I make like Rip Van Winkle can I avoid the next hundred years or so of my life and miraculously grow an old lady beard? I sorta hope so.

Anyone want to buy me a Tempurpedic bed so I can try to create a permanent body groove in the memory foam by spending prolonged time in bed?