Stay-in-Bed Lady

I’m starting to get pretty good at missing terrorism and natural disasters.

I guess you could say finding crumbs inside my shirt was a low point of the day.

My stomach just made some unattractive noises right after I finished eating.

This used to be my playground. This used to be my childhood dream.

Much like I walk my bike uphill, I’d probably take my skiis off to go uphill when cross country skiing.

One of these days I’m gonna get a waterbed so I won’t have to get out of bed for water.

Is this heartburn or is this a heart attack?

Feeling a little more pathetic than average these days.

I think I reached the point where I can no longer overeat. Damn phantom ulcer.

If you ever decide to punch yourself in the face, you might as well give it all you got, not just do one of those hesitation punches.