Stay-in-Bed Lady

Way to jump the shark after getting your health care reform passed, Obama. Off-shore drilling. Really?

I’m willing to take secret singing lessons to impress you while singing in the car.

Nothing shows love like someone who volunteers to help you put your duvet cover back on.

I promise never to have an epiphany so profound that it causes me to stop what I’m doing and run away from the large crowd I’m speaking to.

I sit in bed because the desk chair I got for free has sesame seeds embedded in it and that disgusts me.

Selling stuff on Craigslist is pretty depressing, but might as well try since I ain’t going to Goodwill one item at a time.

Overly crunchy bread: you are my mouth’s enemy.

My body is tired but my mind is fully alert, busy thinking sad thoughts.

It’s always nice to fit in an unnecessary nap in the middle of the day.

It’d be nice if a taco truck happened on by right about now.