Stay-in-Bed Lady

If it’d been me who had found the iPhone 4G, I’d have walked to One Infinite Loop and said, “Please sir, could I have some more?”

The closed captioning for 30 Rock’s intro reads, “Exciting jazz music.” I like that.

I peed in my dream but not in real life. Phew!

It was inevitable that I would become a drink-in-bed lady. Glug glug glug!

Obsessing over a 3-story Manhattan penthouse seems like the logical thing to do when frazzled about how to make rent.

All these earthquakes are serving as a geography refresher course.

The highlight of my Saturday night is not encountering any silverfish during my clean up.

My stay in bed would be nicer if the other half weren’t filled with crap.

I should have come with a caution sign: Robot prone to falling apart without warning.

Is taking heroin in a controlled environment a good idea.