Stay-in-Bed Lady

Does crying into your pillow help keep your face moisturized through the night?

One day I will look back at these sad days and think, “Things sure were easier when I was young.”

Hoping for a good night’s sleep is like pretending your shit don’t stink.

They say the best way to get out of a funk is to get your slut on.

I’m ready to spend most of my days out of bed.

I just had one of those moments where my brain finally told me my stomach was full but I kept going anyway.

I am developing workers hands. Terrible.

Sometimes utter crap gets into my netflix queue and those are the days I wish I could have a “return to sender” automated process.

You give me fever, fever all through the night. Thanks, food poisoning!

Why take antibiotics when I can just hold my stomach and lie in bed all day?