Stay-in-Bed Lady

Full List of Brain Farts

• “The temperature makes them sl…
• There’s something unnerving ab…
• I just got punched in the back…
• @jadeheart so what’s Morgan go…
• There’s nothing like sporadic …
• When did I get so sickly? How …
• Can you flush a fart down the …
• Found a gateway IPA.
• You take the good you take the…
• That “Tip Lincecum” jar is a p…
• Kind of feeling like I have a …
• Blowing into a tissue for a mi…
• Odd. Pandora shifted from Jeff…
• Waiting for the rain to stop s…
• Literally throwing up a little…
• I don’t care how delayed or sl…
• Hot oil popping out of the pan…
• Sometimes never leaving the ho…
• Scratching in public is a good…
• Illuminated / drawn in by the …
• Discussing the stuff that goes…
• Getting locked inside an apart…
• To the guy who has an angry/fu…
• Yes, guy who acts like he does…
• If I sustain a death in the wo…
• Sweaty days are ahead of us.
• How the hell is it September a…
• No, Fred, I’m not willing to t…
• I started googling how to manu…
• Complete and utter disarray pr…
• Crying while eating curry is t…
• You’re damn right I’m gonna co…
• Do you think guide dogs get de…
• I just discovered my very prof…
• How does one suddenly lose the…
• I’m pretty sure I have feline …
• 2am is an unreasonable time to…
• How is it that cleaning up shi…
• I had a really difficult time …
• So this whole summer sickness …
• Can you sneeze under water?
• At some point I’m probably goi…
• I think I’ve destroyed my back…
• The next investment I make wil…
• With the amount I eat I’ll nev…
• It’s mmm mmm good.
• Obladi oblada life goes on.
• I need some eternal sunshine o…
• Does crying into your pillow h…
• One day I will look back at th…
• Hoping for a good night’s slee…
• They say the best way to get o…
• I’m ready to spend most of my …
• I just had one of those moment…
• I am developing workers hands….
• Sometimes utter crap gets into…
• You give me fever, fever all t…
• Why take antibiotics when I ca…
• Some people are just not worth…
• I was somewhat disturbed by Co…
• Hands up, knees together, ass …
• A skinned knee is like a paper…
• Sometimes waking up is so exha…
• Sleeping on the other side of …
• Someone needs to invent someth…
• The best part of any taxing at…
• Sometimes you look back at you…
• My profound thought for the da…
• Self-destruction is a normal e…
• Rental shoes are bad news when…
• Though it’s not unusual for me…
• Shopping online leads to obses…
• Apparently I’m prone to doodli…
• A tiring weekend of eating qui…
• Not good when things burn both…
• I saw one of those arm/torso p…
• The internets are for threats …
• If ever forced to dig my own g…
• I wonder if Rita was ever like…
• People who can scream comicall…
• This Valentine’s day, make her…
• Do you think regular eyebrow p…
• With minesweeper comes love, e…
• Sitting used to be a favorite …
• I’m maniacally tearing out my …
• Lose weight feel great with my…
• What becomes of the brokenhear…
• I wish there was a device I co…
• I’m pretty sure a spider just …
• My dreams are definitely incon…
• Thanks summer heat for the zit…
• I’m rather displeased about th…
• I just caught a Glee scene whe…
• I wish I knew I was allergic t…
• The calendar on my wall is on …
• Cabo Cantina: Where people who…
• The idea of shoveling handfuls…
• There are some sounds I will n…
• A horse is a horse of course o…
• Allergies and hangovers are be…
• There’s something about that p…
• All it takes is checking out m…
• God it must be downright embar…
• Skiddimerink a dink a dink ski…
• Alas, In n Out can’t always ma…
• Turning on the TV early to ens…
• Apparently sleeping makes my b…
• That Diet Coke at dinner was a…
• I thought my elbow pain was fr…
• Who knew lying in bed could be…
• Getting passed by a Google str…
• It’s a downward spiral to self…
• Nothing like slicing your thum…
• High thread count sheets are o…
• L.L. Cool J has the worst bead…
• I think I need a new teapot th…
• If it’d been me who had found …
• The closed captioning for 30 R…
• I peed in my dream but not in …
• It was inevitable that I would…
• Obsessing over a 3-story Manha…
• All these earthquakes are serv…
• The highlight of my Saturday n…
• My stay in bed would be nicer …
• I should have come with a caut…
• Is taking heroin in a controll…
• My Wii Fit trainer claims I sh…
• The temptation to knock a stra…
• Accomplishing eating while cry…
• I fear this little life sabbat…
• Sometimes a gorilla slap is th…
• It’s a know fact that idle, ra…
• Papercut in eye crisis narrowl…
• Penelope Cruz is far more tole…
• How many times have you popped…
• The Apple Store is pretty much…
• 4 out of 5 dentists recommend …
• Thank you, Craigslist communit…
• People care less that it’s Eas…
• Chopsticks up my nose = Chines…
• Way to jump the shark after ge…
• I’m willing to take secret sin…
• Nothing shows love like someon…
• I promise never to have an epi…
• I sit in bed because the desk …
• Selling stuff on Craigslist is…
• Overly crunchy bread: you are …
• My body is tired but my mind i…
• It’s always nice to fit in an …
• It’d be nice if a taco truck h…
• Warmer weather makes staying i…
• Life is pretty tiring.
• Snow!
• Liz Lemon and I have too many …
• Wearing a scarf in bed. In a “…
• Biting into a rock that’s hidi…
• Everybody hurts. Sometimes. Es…
• I look like a hobo sitting ins…
• I just burned my stomach with …
• I’m starting to get pretty goo…
• I guess you could say finding …
• My stomach just made some unat…
• This used to be my playground….
• Much like I walk my bike uphil…
• One of these days I’m gonna ge…
• Is this heartburn or is this a…
• Feeling a little more pathetic…
• I think I reached the point wh…
• If you ever decide to punch yo…
• Who needs to be reminded of pe…
• My neck is sore from a combo o…
• Playing an actual BOARD game o…
• Eating Doritos in bed. Not too…
• Nothing like lounging in bed w…
• This self-imposed bed ridden t…
• My stomach is constantly gurgl…
• Why hello red wine that tastes…
• Wherever I go, cats seem to be…
• My stomach is full of the drie…
• I stopped taking allergy pills…
• Why is it that pimples always …
• Oops. I guess homail is very d…
• Gross. I just pulled out a whi…
• Bock cervesa es muy sabrosa.
• So hungry yet so lazy to seek …
• Afternoon beers aren’t exactly…
• I had a sober new year’s eve s…
• The burning means the zit crea…
• What’s the point of exerting o…
• Hand washing clothes equals dr…
• It’s kind of embarrassing when…
• Curse you, bugs that bite mult…
• Lips so chapped. But chapstick…
• I like being able to see out o…
• I’m not gonna lie. I look pret…
• I’m not a fan of strings of sp…
• This sunburn is going to heal …
• The feeling of a mosquito bite…
• Must restrict water intake to …
• Mosquitos, why must you curse …
• One snarky remark never to mak…
• Hungry hungry hippo!
• Memories are weird things. Tha…
• Oh what a beautiful morning, o…
• Just made a bucket of soup. Ta…
• Is patiently waiting for brunc…
• All it takes is a tasty burrit…
• It’s so cold my neck hurts fro…
• I wonder if it’s a bad sign th…
• I’m not sure this yoga ball is…
• I hate waking up hungry. It fe…
• Football on Sunday = eating a …
• It’s Halloween and I’m ready t…
• I’m not quite sure how it jump…
• Ever get the feeling you’re ab…
• I’ve been on the computer all …
• I’m not sure why I felt compel…
• Listening to Outkast makes me …
• Nothing like lounging in bed w…
• Despite all the beauty rest I …
• Once again I’m in it to win it…
• I’m feeling deliriously tired …
• Dang, I want an epidural.
• The more I drink the more I lo…
• Sometimes you feel like a nut….
• Ahem, when you fret about your…
• It’s kind of sad when you frei…
• It’s too bad we can’t all stay…
• There should be a law that all…
• I ate some damn good Indian fo…
• Feeling an absurd mix between …
• There are days I freak out abo…
• It being 09/09/09 today did no…
• Can anyone give me some tips o…
• I get paranoid doing things li…
• The day would not be complete …
• Eating until I cannot eat anym…
• Who loves spilling drinks all …
• When the moon hits the sky lik…
• There’s nothing like having a …
• I love it when police use thei…
• Tomorrow I will be an instant …
• I wonder if there is ever goin…
• Being in a lit room when it is…
• I had one of those dreams wher…
• Have any instructors ever expe…
• There are days I want nothing …
• There are days I feel guilty w…
• I want to sound my barbaric ya…
• I woke up feeling great this m…
• I didn’t win the lottery and w…
• I wore three pain relief patch…
• I’ve just returned from Target…
• I wonder if it’s a problem to …
• I found a long, messed up look…
• I’m in desperate need of a lin…
• Hangovers are the worst. I kep…
• There are days when I want to …
• When sales people are trying t…
• Everytime I stretch out my sta…
• Traffic and full bladders are …
• I walked myself a little silly…
• I’m at that stage in life wher…
• I always end up tipping the ca…
• About the same time I became a…
• My stay-in-bed lady back is ki…
• I hate waking up somewhat naus…
• Sometimes you just have to sha…
• It’s a scary feeling not knowi…
• Kids with adult faces ought to…
• These ain’t yo momma’s Girl Scout cookies…or are they?
• I walked past a man who bent o…
• I try so hard not to drink the…
• If everyone wants to send me t…
• I’m feeling so overwhelmed by …
• I wish i had man servants who …
• When you’re a kid, it’s cute t…
• I finally got to shower and us…
• Now that the shower is apparen…
• I knew that bag of chips was n…
• www.StayInBedLady.com is gener…
• Michael Jackson broke the inte…
• There’s a “news” story about d…
• There are days when I think a …
• I got bamboozled into getting …
• One of these days I’m going to…
• This weekend has been one of t…
• FYI, when someone can hurt you…
• Do I have a drinking problem?
• Though I’m weary of cheap sake…
• My new goal in life is to have…
• I’ve had a canker sore on the …
• Baked Lays are pretty deliciou…
• Hey Chastity, the world alread…
• Sometimes I wish I weren’t so …
• There’s something about visiti…
• I’m surprisingly watching the …
• If you buy me the new iPhone I…
• I wake stuffed up in the morni…
• I #BlameDrewsCancer for my bac…
• Yesterday a friend and I order…
• I wonder how many people have …
• There’s nothing really signifi…
• I hope someday to be served Di…
• Somebody loves me or at least …
• I overdid it yesterday. Made a…
• When I hear the slow sounds of…
• My eyes appear to have doubled…
• I’ve eaten everything except t…
• I forgot about my Degrassi: Th…
• Allergies make me so attractive
• If I make like Rip Van Winkle …
• Anyone want to buy me a Tempur…
• There’s a calendar on my wall …
• If Giada De Laurentiis were ha…
• There have been some worrisome…
• Let the teacher fetish begin!
• I just got caught checking out…
• I hate it when my chapstick ro…
• Has been flustered twice in th…
• Today feels like a Friday whic…
• What’s the probability that my…
• I don’t say it enough but I re…
• Curse you, swine flu, for ruin…
• I won’t let Linda Wagner convi…
• My city finally recycles mixed…
• Splenda managed to “ruin” my n…
• Inappropriate Wiener Dog Usage
• If I had the ability I’d inven…
• My body’s giving itself shock …
• Got invited to get free Ben & …
• It’s April 20th
• Instead of laser hair removal …
• I wonder what high-powered exe…
• I haven’t eaten Cocoa Puffs si…
• Well I failed my one goal of t…
• It’s that time again. The lott…
• Was it wrong to be tickled pin…
• Skinny Cow
• I just woke up hungry after dr…
• Signs you are getting old, mol…
• I’m counting down until the da…
• Jason Mraz attracts spammers t…
• Drive-thru temptation sucks: T…
• Losing bone density from this lifestyle
• If I were a flight attendant I…
• It’s fun adding a surprise ele…
• Would it be a turn off if you …
• We’re Stay-in-Bed Ladies
• Supposedly unwashed hair start…
• I saw a man looking up whilst …
• A bed is a bed no matter what
• Went out for pizza tonight and…
• Good Samaritan
• Brazilian waxing may be banned…
• It was a nice day out but I co…
• Sometimes you just have to put…
• I regenerate energy by staying…
• Some day I want to stop being …
• You’re too sexy for your shirt, I’m too fat for my underwear
• If I could stay in a bed made …
• I felt like a magician the day…
• Booked a cheap massasge
• I’m suspicious of the Charmin …
• One of these days I’m pretty s…
• I just clipped my nails over m…
• My bed is covered with clothes…
• Furthermore, if Jack Johnson a…
• Is it wrong to hate Jason Mraz…
• About to shower, watch last ni…
• Unemployment Days Are Fattening
• CAlottery.com is not working w…
• Curse you, rain!
• It’s probably time for an afte…
• Need a massage
• They say the camera adds 10lbs…
• Strategically placed a mirror …
• Repressed Memory Resurfaces
• Rearranging furniture not only…
• Just unmasked a bag of clothes…
• Is it wrong that I only put ch…
• Two productive days in a row? Unheard of!
• Six Feet Under makes me happy …
• Interesting cut from Jennifer …
• Need a camel pack
• Stay-in-Bed Dog (Not a Gentleman)
• Now I really feel stupid. I po…
• Well, I feel like an idiot. Ju…
• Thirsty, but too lazy to get a drink
• Got Snuggie? It’s freezing in …
• So after eating 1/4 of that Di…
• My life revolves around food
• Anyone know how to create a cu…
• Laptops are great, but they’re…
• So full from a big burrito and…
• Apparently I’m an old stay-in-…
• Increased cable costs results …
• What’s More Pathetic?
• Life’s not too shabby when the…
• Well, I’m Not a Millionaire
• The Mega Millions lotto is at …
• I just saw a homeless man peei…
• Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner in Bed
• Finally left the house today d…
• It’s 4:20pm (no, I’m not high)…
• Happy Valentine’s Day
• Website wish list
• To be or not to be a stay-in-bed lady