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One of these days I’m gonna get a waterbed so I won’t have to get out of bed for water.

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Is this heartburn or is this a heart attack?

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Feeling a little more pathetic than average these days.

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I think I reached the point where I can no longer overeat. Damn phantom ulcer.

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If you ever decide to punch yourself in the face, you might as well give it all you got, not just do one of those hesitation punches.

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Who needs to be reminded of personal failure every year?

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My neck is sore from a combo of sitting in bed, sitting at my desk, and shivering from the cold.

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Playing an actual BOARD game of scrabble.

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Eating Doritos in bed. Not too shabby!

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Nothing like lounging in bed watching Lost!

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